Once upon a time, a man was able to defend his home against unwanted guests.
Well, the world has changed – If someone breaks into your home today he has rights don’t you know.
If you have an unsafe staircase and he slips and hurts himself, he can sue you. No I’m absolutely serious.
Now surely there must be a judge out there with some balls. If I was a judge and one of these sorry individuals appeared before me, I think it would go something like this:
"Well’ yer ‘onour, I was burgling Mr Jone’s ouse when I trod on a rotten stair and twisted me leg. I want to sue him. I’m can’t work ye see."
"Ah, so you can’t go out breaking and entering at night – that is a problem"
"Eye gov, I’m maxed out on benefits and I can barely afford me fags at t’moment"
"That’s no good is it. What are we to do? 10 years should be about right, take him down."
"Ye can’t do that me worship I’ve got human rights and the law says the most you can give me is 2 hours gardening… ha, ha"
"Irrelevant – I’m setting a new precedent and if the courts of appeal above me have anything to say, then they too will show a pathetic lack of balls."
Lets face it, the law is indeed pathetic. If someone breaks into my house I should be allowed to shoot him without further a do. I should be able to carry on with my dinner whilst phoning the local constabulary to come and remove the corpse. They should arrive and apologise for the inconvenience.
Well I don’t suppose my views will gain much credibility, even though many of you might agree.
We can’t be seen to hurt the poor little burglar’s feelings, that would upset his human rights.